Our Top 15 Favorite Dad Jokes Of All Time

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Dad jokes are serious business. Okay, well, not really, but they're no easy feat, and can generally only be executed by well-practiced Dads and Dad figures alike. There are three key features that comprise a dad joke: First, the joke needs to be cheesy (we mean REALLY cheesy jokes), and usually contain some sort of pun. Second, the Dad who delivered the joke needs to immediately chuckle at his own joke. Third, the joke must be repeated ad nauseum, as Dads never ever seem to get tired of their own jokes.

In honor of Father's Day, we asked a few Got Beauty Girls to tell us their very favorite Dad jokes. This is a fair warning: seriously goofy humor lies ahead, and potentially some face palming. 

 


What do you call a man with no feet?
Neil.
What about a woman who has one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
Bob.


 Kid: But daaaad!
Dad: Did you just call me "Butt Dad"? You're grounded!


 "My mom just asked my dad for a hand in the kitchen, and he started following her around clapping..."


 Where does Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.


Kid: I went and got a hair cut yesterday.
Dad: Really? Cause it looks like you got them all cut.


My mother-in-law and father-in-law are named Mary and Jeff. As we left their house last night on Christmas Eve, I hugged my mother-in-law and said "Merry Christmas", then hugged my father-in-law and said "Jeff Christmas".


A Mexican magician says he'll disappear on the count of three:
Uno... Dos...Poof!
He disappeared...without a tres.


"One day, I was wearing a shirt without sleeves. My dad greeted me with, 'Wow, looks like you have the right to bear ARMS!'"


What was Beethoven's favorite fruit?
BANANANAAAAA.


My friends dad: what did the green grape say to the purple grape?
"Breathe, man, BREATHE!"


Dad: Hey, guess who I saw today?
Kid: Who?
Dad: Everyone I looked at.


I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker...but when I got home, all the signs were there.


Why don't you ever want to run in front of a car?
You'll get tired.


What's brown and sticky?
A stick.


Kid: I'll call you later.
Dad: Don't call me later, call me Dad.

 

What's YOUR favorite Dad joke? Tell us in a comment below!

 

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Posted by Sadie Upwall

Project Manager and Editor for the best little beauty business in town.

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